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It’s All Love (sometimes.)

This week I’ve been struggling and I’ve crumbled. This week takeout won. This week gummy worms won. This week work stress won. This week I couldn’t crush a single workout. This week I whispered to myself “maybe you should get the gastric bypass.” This week I felt, well, weak.

I’ve only been to the gym once and I wanted to cry after I was done. I didn’t. I would say if I did. I felt defeated not because I only got to it once. I felt defeated because I didn’t take care of myself. I learned a lesson in chain reactions:

  • I didn’t crush my workout because

  • I was too winded and tired because

  • I didn’t get enough sleep the night before because

  • I stayed up late scrolling on my phone because

  • I didn’t really eat well and was distracted because

  • I didn’t cook anything for myself so I had no food ready after a long day at work because

  • I was too distracted scrolling on my phone because

  • I didn’t want to cook because I was tired because

  • I live with depression and have not been that great about taking my medication lately because

  • I stay up late scrolling on my phone...

And so on and so on… as you read this, did you notice the same thing I did? All of those things were set in motion by me and how I reacted. I’m not saying that stress is not a factor, or time, or access, or that there aren’t external reasons why this happened. I know there are. This week, I reacted to those external factors by letting them creep up on me. I let them creep so hard that I thought about making an extreme decision about my health with ZERO forethought instead of addressing the small things I had already been doing. This week, I lost sight of all the great things I do, but next week is a new week and this week will be in the rear view. Oh shit, that rhymed! Ha! Things are already looking up ;)

Interested in learning more about Suhayl? Follow her on Instagram.

The fall 2018 session of ProCoach nutrition coaching starts September 17. Email for more info.

#WholeHedonist #depression


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