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Sex + Wellness = Swellness

...or would swoleness be a better word?

Hi FFFriends! As I am the resident wholehedonist, you know it was only a matter of time before I got into the hedonist part of what I do. There’s a lot of whole out there, but I’m ready to dig in to the other parts of the equation of what’s making me feel good in my body. These days? Well I found this new thing that you may have heard of… All the kids are doing it, but not always talking about it… It’s this new activity. It’s one heck of a workout and it’s easy to do at home or in a group or as a partnered work out or you can even do it by yourself! It’s sex, people. I am talking about sex. Yes. S-E-X. Now would be a good time for those of you who can’t or don’t want to read on to exit this page.

For the rest of you, let’s talk. I’ve been thinking about sex since I was old enough to remember. While I won’t get into my experiences over time here, I do want to talk about my current relationship with it. (If ya really want to know anything about my experiences, just ask.) Now let’s get to why it’s on the brain at this particular moment: because it’s AWESOME for my gym workouts! I kind of knew this already, but with my recent rut, it just wasn’t a connection I was making…

Then a few things happened:

  1. I happened upon this amazing piece of writing by Laura Delarato which gave me the swift kick I needed to finally leave an remaining vestiges of body shame in the dust when it came to putting together an online dating profile.

  2. I worked at an event on a college campus where they were quite literally giving away condoms by the case box.

  3. I went to the WELL Summit and and realized I had spent two whole days talking about 360 degrees of wellness and sex never came up. That’s where Swellness is coming from — maybe I’ll make it a thing... ;)

  4. I decided to become a somewhat active participant in dating. Not too active, though, because my primary relationship is with myself.

  5. I met a few folks who very much enjoy the idea of dating me and the feeling is mutual.

  6. I have a crush on someone that has reached high school swoony levels of giddiness.

Now, I am not saying anything new here. We have all picked up one health or fitness mag or another to see that section on sex positions or where to get your 21 questions about sex answered and even how Halle Berry recommends working out to have better sex. One thing that I’ve yet to see is how better sex gets you to a better workout. That, my friends, is exactly what it is doing it for me.

What do I mean? Well this is how it’s working for me: I am enjoying the perks of dating around and what that does for my ego through the flirty calls, texts, and emails. Knowing that these people think I’m hot makes me feel hot which makes me want to do good things for myself like crushing a workout with perfect form. Crushing those workouts makes my body feel really good by getting my blood flowing and bringing up my energy and making my body release endorphins. Hmmm, I wonder what other physical activities get your blood pumping and your endorphins dancing around… Oh WAIT I KNOW… You see where I’m going with this? Lest you think that this is only about hooking up, it’s also about learning my way around my body and what feels good on my own. Because, guess what? Solo sex could potentially rev up your workout too!

So what I’m saying is that sex has been a really great way for me to feel good and I’m connecting the dots between feeling good and taking that to the gym with me so I perform better. It may not work in the same way for everyone, but since it’s my blog this is about me. Curious what might work for you? Try some things out! Make mental notes of when you’re feeling your hottest and how you might take that to the mat or the spin class! I am far from an expert, but I am an open book and I love sharing the edgy details — if you’re into that sort of thing, don’t be shy about asking!



Interested in learning more about Suhayl? Follow her on Instagram. Want to email her? You can reach her at

#sex #dating #motivation #performance #WholeHedonist


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